Relinquish...

2006-10-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Many sleepless nights,

scar my face with my face with dark rings,

lieing there and having dreams.

Why?

I met you,

I knew you,

I can't forget you.

Didn't know it could be so painful,

to know that you are there yet so far away.

Solace i get from reminiscing about the past we shared,

yet i don't know how long i can last from this turmoil.

I don't know how long i can last.

Maybe its time to forget.

Maybe,

if i see you less,

if i talk to you less,

if i get involved in other things,

things will change.

Never thought i would get so involved,

the feeling is bittersweet.

Hopefully i will last a little longer,

then it will be time to send things into memory.

These feelings cannot be expressed totally in words,

yet i hope it will suffice.

2006-09-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

It is starting to hurt quite bad, and yet, i carn help but poke at the wound. It is an injury only a special medicine can heal, and i sincerely hope i will be able to find it.

Gg to update after promos, trying to wipe away the cobwebs of this blog for now and countdown to promos is down to 16 days... "0

2006-08-27T01:03:00.000-07:00

OOooops, forgot to update, lol... HAHAHAHA, the 2 weeks of horror are finally over, YES! Lol, i dunno where to start since so many things happen, haha (pardon my constant laughing)...

Anyway, let me see, erm, lets start from my Birthday, hmmmm, i thnk it was a thursday. So the guys wanted to pole and taupok me, lol... Running away half the time... Anyway, some of the class dudes decided dey wanna gv me a present, which was such a pleasant surprise. I got a nice pair of slippers... haha. Thanx guys, you know who you are, (cos i thnk i forgot, oops)... And the day ended with my family buying a rather big black forest cake, which is my favourite.. It was a beautiful day, thanx to my family and frenz...

On friday, the dreaded maths test came, which i noe i totally flunked, with no slightest hope of passing, haiz. Along came another blow, which was me failing PULL UPS again. Y are my arms so weak, no matter how much i trained? Sianz...

Sat and Sun were nothing special, though i had to find my way to Tanjong Katong Road on sat for studio practice and went for a consultation with the class biology GOD... Colin, who else. -_-"

Mon was another crazy day, with a sleepy face and stoning eyes, i managed to pass the day, not like its any surprise though. Tuesday was the piano exam, the much awaited and anticipated day took a turn for the worse, like WTH!!! I think i may fail this one. Pieces aside, scales and aural was BAD! Haiz, hope i can pass... :( Went back to school for interhouse games, just to find out that my captain is not coming, sianz... We won though its a tough match, cheers!

Wednesday was my interhouse squash games, where i lost to my captain... :( Carn be helped, he is good and hardworking as well. For now my goal shall be to beat him, haha, but for now, being second isnt too bad, at least i get a trophy... lol...

Thursday was another interhouse badminton day, quite a sad day for me... I actually lost a match that was much easier den tuesday's match, and i let all my supporters down... :( :( Haiz, shant brood about it anymore....

Fri was a wierd day. Immediately after school, i recieved a call from what sounded like a policeman, though i got into trouble cos the other person was being so formal. Turns out he was from some national squash team and i was selected by a scout who came to watch me play, though i didnt see any while playing, so it could be my coach... The terms he offered me was to trial out for the national team, and if i did make it, i would not be studying for the nxt year and doing only training. However, i was offered an overseas scholarship the following year to make up for the lost time in studies. The scholarship sounded attractive, but the idea in whole was rather risky, so after much thought and advice, i decided to turn it down. Hmmm, was supposed to play floorball at around 4 o'clock dat day, bt my body was suffering from fatigue, so after i went to buy my guitar strings, i went home to take a nap. TIRED!

Again, sat and sun were nothing new, seeing as today is a sunday, and i havent even started on my supposed revision, i guess i should be going to mug soon, hmmmm. Its only the beginning...

-Sayonara-

2006-08-15T03:47:00.000-07:00

This is going to be the worst period of time ever, so many things, so little time, and things just keep adding up.

10 reasons that screwed up my life:

1) PW topic needs to be changed, screwed, bt as a leader, i have to keep smiling like an asshole.
2) Have to organise squash open house, which is like a screwed up shit as well
3) Have to participate in interhouse games, which is seriously time consuming
4) Have to start serious revision for promos! <>
5) Have to finish all the seriously screwed up homework
6) Piano exam is next week, like wtf!
7) No life at all!
8) Have to have to do 1 pull-up by this friday. . . -_-"
9) Start filing up my notes cos many go missing
10) 4 hours of sleep almost every weekday

If that's not screwed up what is, i'm kinda not looking forward to my birthday...

Anyway, carn have things going my way all the time, gt to be strong. SEBAS, u bastard! stop sulking and do something about it!!!

Easier said den done...

-Sayonara-

2006-08-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

A photo can say a thousand things

But it can't say the million things I wanna say

A photo can capture the way we were

But it can't capture the way we are

'Cause you're far away

What it's like to know you

What it's like to touch you

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

'Cause I'm looking at your picture'

Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments

And I might be lonely girl

But I'm not afraid

In a second

It all comes right back to me

Nothing's forgotten now

Yeah everything's saved

What it's like to touch you

What it's like to know you

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts'

Cause I'm looking at your picture

'Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

You were my life

you were my faith

You gave me hope every day

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

'Cause I'm looking at your picture

'Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

2006-08-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Busy, Busy, Busy... Everyday its the same, such monotony will kill me... Anyway, managed to do alot of homework yesterday but there is still alot alot alot!!! Haiz, anyway, every saturday seeing my piano teacher's pissed off face can spoil my whole day instantly. So ya, the day started off like no other, with a grouchy teacher at my doorstep at 9.15... Then it ended at 10.15 sharp... like torture, and the thought of piano exams coming the following week does not help at all, hmmmm...

Did PW at kenneth's house today, it was only me at first, then peggy came to join us. Must say we accomplished at least half of the WR, though we could have done more if we werent distracted by the malicious vandalisation of the picture of kian's yan's prom night.. haha... I left at around 5, was super late in meeting my fren...

Arrived at city hall at 6.35, she was always earlier then me, which made me feel super guilty... :( ... We had fish and co.'s fish and chips... Ya, which we then realised couldnt be paid by a POSB card, so she had to draw money out. (lol, if not we have to wash plates to pay back, haha...)Which brings me to talk about the fireworks festival... we tried to hurry there at 8.30, which was a super stupid thing to do cos the place was so crowded and i didnt feel so well. (we could have camped dere!) haha, so back to the story, the whole place was filled with cigarette smoke and it was stuffy and humid.. :( The fireworks that came out was worth it though, it was artistic and creative and awesome and etc etc etc... haha.. so after that we took a few photos and went to get drinks at mac, gt lost at raffles and ended up walking back to the esplanade. We talked abit then went home, it was quite fun though, and i enjoyed myself, haha..

WELL, its back to mugging and i m doing EOM now, sucky PW, so ya.. nite BLOG..

-Sayonara-

2006-08-11T02:14:00.000-07:00

Hai, been to a funeral the past two days, not pleasant at all after i heard my uncle's life story, though i was not very close to him, it lead me to realise how fortunate i was...

My uncle did not have much of an education during his youth, he went to work at a young age, starting out as a fishball noodles seller. He was always a very cheerful person, through harsh times as well as the happy moments, he was not one to ever give in to fate or any depressing things. He worked long hours at his shop and slept little. He had three daughters, all three are bright and with bright prospects. His dream was to see all three of his daughters go though university and lead an easy life. He was one to clearly understand how hardship and suffering actually is, and he didnt want his daughters to go through the same kind of life such as his. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he didnt flinch but instead told his family that it was nothing much. He was strong and fought till the last breath. On his deathbed, he told his daughters that his only regret was to see them unmarried. And he left peacefully, leaving behind a devastated auntie of mine as well as his three daughters...

It seemed so sad that someone so faithful to his beliefs fall victim to the hands of disease and sickness. Sad, and it made me think how complacent i am to actually complain about my worry free life. Ya, so this is like a final tribute to him...

Anyway back to daily life, had a class outing yesterday at sentosa, haha, must say it turned out quite successful. The day was not very hot and it didnt rain like i suspected it would. Hmmm, we played ball games and talked alot and it was quite relaxing. I didnt swim though, lol, (congrats to jun zhi and kenneth), cos i didnt want to be like a lobster and living the following days with moulting skin, haha.

And today, its back to mugging and doing homework, grossed out life i am leading, ya. Then a busy day tomorrow again, morning piano lessons, pw in the afternoon, haha, at least i am watching fireworks at night... Hmmm, i gotta complete my homework before tomorrow then, haha, so tata.

-Sayonara-

2006-08-05T06:19:00.000-07:00

I just realised a family is very important in your life, you cannot do without it, yet sometimes you don't even realise they exists. I guess recent events has made me understand that having the family is very important in a person's upbringing and character. Nvm, i sound like i talking nonsense.

Lol. anyway the past week was horror, glad that its all over, haha. A happy ending for my friends, lol. Ya, and i didn't get the NDP tickets i wanted so much, nvm lah. Haha. yaaa. Lotsa tests nxt week, sucky. Never going to have a life till after promos, dots... :(

Sometimes i feel that i have no meaning in life you know, but friends and family are always there to be with you, no matter how tough the road is. Everyone goes through it, some maybe more than others, but well, learn to live with it. And as i always say

拿得起要放得下.

Haha, some chim-inology. anyway, gtg le, its homework this time.

-Sayonara-

2006-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, today was my mum's birthday, ate lots of sushi at GENKI sushi, wasnt all that great though. But well, hey mum, if u ever see this, i just wanna tell you that you have been great, and you deserve a nice good rest today. LOL... Wad a day, she is wearing the necklace that i bought for her, haha, looks pretty. I must say the person who chose it has good taste, haha. Church was as usual, though all married couples renewing their vows together looked wierd, haha. Came home and slept like a pig, 4 hours straight, catching up on all the rest that i missed during the weekdays. Had a very bad dream, and woke up all aching and sweating. ARGH... Anyway, i accidentally deleted the lyrics of a song i wrote from my com, which has been there for ages actually, will miss it. :( Started on maths during the night (realised i knew nuts about everything on Vectors), and studied for chemistry SPA test which is tomorrow. Haiz, sometimes i wish that time could stop whenever i wanted it, too many things to do, too little time.

Haha, by the way, commenting on yesterday, a friend of mine got caught up in a little, or big, crush on this girl. He went to buy her a romantic birthday present on impulse, lol. Then he got frustrated cos he didnt know whether she has any feelings at all for him. As usual, i became the middleman and guess what, she actually does a thing for him! Cool! So it was quite a happy scene and all i wonder what's going to happen next, lol.

I'll be a raft in the tide,

I'll be yours.

I'll be the truth in the light.

And what's more, when no one opens the door,

I'll be the hope you are looking for,

I'll be yours.

Haha, slpy as usual.

-Sayonara-

2006-07-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

OKKKKKKKKKK, my first post. I shall start blogging from now on, find it a very good way of destressing when u realli need it, haha. Anyway, nothing much happened today, only that i had a lousy, terrible piano lesson this morning, for no apparent reason, she seems to be in a bad mood. Well i was not in a very good mood this morning too. Haiz, could be stress that is taking a toll on my body, its not working in the way i wanted it to be, pain and aches all over. Late nights surely contribute too. So back to the topic, when to watch Lake house today and to find my mother's present. The show wasn't very nice, average and not really worth $9.50. Bought a necklace for my mum, hopes she likes it when i gv it to her tomorrow, cos i m seriously not an expert in buying gifts, especially for girls. Reached home around 7.30, took a bath and ate my dinner. Wretched EOM and tutorials are sickening, with all the tests mounting up, hardly even have time to take a breath. Haiz, tiring day, slping early.

-Sayonara-

2006-07-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is a testing post, TEST, 123...